The face says it all
Goal
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In this article we will reflect on how a face can convey significant messages, often without the subject's full awareness |
I'd like to start by teling you a recent episode I witnessed on the field: this event proves how people can be effective and good soccer coaches or, on the contraty, unknowingly (I hope!) demotivating and stressful coaches for the kids.
I was at the swimming pool with a women's synchronized swimming team, they were rehearsing a dance for the next italian championship (in this case, the kind of sport doesn't matter).The coach was observing their performance. Her face was serious, contracted, the mouth clenched tight. Since the first movements of the athletes the coach started to shake her head with frustration, showing disappointment and aversion for what she was seeing. She kept on shaking her head for the whole performance. What was happening?
It is surely correct to communicate to the athletes a poorly executed performance, however there are constructive and destructive ways to give a feedback.
These athletes had their head underwater most of the time, so they didn't see the “disgust” on their coach's face (I don't think I'm exaggerating using this word), but all the other teammates that were attending the rehearsal did see it! The same contracted face that the team in the water found waiting for them at the end of the performance, when they joined the coach to receive feedback.
During a soccer game, the coach is always visible to the players, so they can see non verbal cues both when they interact directly with the coach and when they observe them giving feedback and corrections to their teammates.
A shaking head sounds to the athletes not just as “you are making a mistake”, but as “you suck! what the heck are you doing?!”.If I'd like to show disappointment or highlight a mistake a simple “no” is enough, or even “keep your focus on …” with a brief nod, giving indications on how to fix the mistake without forgetting to point out what's working.
Continuously shaking your head during a training, a match, a rehearsal means showing your disappointment over and over again, it tells your athletes “this is not good at all” and, over time, this becomes “YOU ARE NO GOOD!”. The risk is to discourage, hurt, stress your athletes, causing the loss of enthusiasm and creating anxiety in the team, because they will think that sooner or later will be their turn to be pilloried.
Unfortunately, often we are not aware of how we move our head, of our facial expressions and of the non verbal messages we send that should be a lot different, even in front of a big mistake.
We should always convey confidence, trust and determination to try and try again with more intensity and grit.
Trying walking in someone else's shoes can help understand, and I invite you to try to do it when you are not sure of what you are conveying to your players. How would you feel if you were trying to do something and your leader/reference point, instead of hyping you up, showed a dour face?
Remember that you are there for them and with them, you play on the same team and you should let them feel your trust and desire to be there with them.
